Let's
start with the obvious about life back in the day – YOU'RE A CHILD
BACK THEN! Remember, children aren't exactly smart; in fact, it's
safe to say the average child is dumb. But it's acceptable for kids
to be stupid because they're learning. During childhood you think
everything is awesome. That movie you loved as a child that got a17%
on Rotten
Tomatoes– it's
because you're dumb! That video game you
played all the time as a child that really sucked – it's because
you're dumb! That food you ate all the time as a kid that's slowly
killing you –it's because you're dumb! You should forget about your
childhood because it's probably dumb!
The
next point is technology improves over time, which makes the present
and the future better. Let's pretend for a moment all humans are
immortal – a terrible thought, but pretend it for the sake of my
Pulitzer
Prize argument.
Okay, before your brain melts, think back to early medicine, when we
drilled holes into skulls and used leeches to suck out the bad
spirits. Imagine if someone during that time told us our current
medical expertise is rubbish, and we need to go back to releasing the
evil spirits...wouldn't you toss that fool into a volcano? Technology
makes our lives better, and not being able to adapt to it causes us
to age. You don't get old because of a “natural aging process,”
you get old because of your inability to adapt to the ever-changing
world! I'm not sure if that's true, but it sounds profound so it
probably is true.
If
you can't let go of nostalgia after reading my amazing words –
there is still hope for you! Everything in the world happens in
cycles,especially in regards to human civilization. A society starts
at the bottom, works it's way to its pinnacle, but eventually comes
crumbling back down to nothing. It's happened since the beginning of
humanity and will continue on forever. No society is always at the
top, but they're not always at the bottom either. Some people believe
we're in the phase of heading back down, which is good news for you
people who miss the past! Not only will we go back to your day, but
to the day of your parents, your grandparents, your
great-grandparents and so on! Rejoice, rejoice – we're eventually
going back to a time of using sticks and stones to break bones (even
though they don't really break bones)! No matter how much you hate
evolution – you eventually won't be dealing with that damn dirty
theory anymore!
I'm
guilty of being nostalgic, which makes me a hypocrite, but at least
I'm a Hip Hypocrite.