If
everyone is getting a tattoo, the tattoo loses its “cool effect.”
I think I remember an episode of Leave
It to Beaver
when Beaver got that barbed wire tattoo on his bicep. Or was it the
episode of The
Andy Griffith Show when
Opie
had to show his allegiance to the motorcycle gang by getting a Grim
Reaper tattoo on his chest? In any case, if those two dorks got
tattoos, the tattoo you have or are thinking of getting won't make
you any cooler. In fact, that tattoo will make you a lousy, miserable
excuse for a human being in my book (and my book is always correct).
There
are a few instances when tattoos are acceptable, and I'll list the
mall in bullet form!
- You're in a gang, and I mean a criminal gang, not a bunch of losers calling yourself “a gang.” Apparently, committing various violent crimes isn't enough to show your allegiance to the gang, you need to get inked up to make your murder LEGIT!
- You're in prison, and I mean a prison for criminals, not the prison of your mind. There isn't much to do in prison except for working out, shanking, reading, more shanking and getting tattoos. What else are you going to do in prison – get rehabilitated?
- Someone is forcing you to get a tattoo. No jokes from me here – if your livelihood depends on this tattoo, then get it!
- You're a masochist. There are other ways to feel pain, but getting a tattoo is both painful and humiliating – something masochists pay extra for!
- You're an idiot. You have a great excuse to get a tattoo because you're a damn fool!
I'm not
completely against all tattoos for reasons outside of this. In fact,
I encourage tattoos if done the proper way. The proper way is by
carving the tattoo into your skin with an ink-less blade. This leaves
a permanent scar and makes you the coolest and craziest kid on the
block!
Oh,piercings
are still cool and will always be cool – my book says so!